Navy Enginerd

I Know, I'm a Ranter

2007-11-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's fairly obvious I'm not a big Redford fan, or for that matter, a hollywood fan. Do I still watch movies- yes. I am not questioning Redford's RIGHT to say what he said, I was just upset by Redford's assumption that he speaks for everyone and that he doesn't give any specific examples of freedoms he lost.

I read a couple reviews and heard an interview with the author of a new book called Schmoozing with Terrorists. It details the direct effect that people like Redford have on the terrorists and their war on the West. I respect the right for a differing opinion, but just firmly believe it to be irresponsible to share it in a way that emboldens the enemy and ultimately results in the death of more American soldiers and marines. Is it really a surprise that deaths in Iraq are the lowest in many months, once we start talking withdrawal? The terrorists would not want us to change our minds by continuing the fight!

I'm saddened by those who may truly believe that the best expression of patriotism is to bash the US and its president as if they had all the facts.

'Liberals' for Lions

2007-10-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

Here's a recent gem of a comment from one of Hollywood's finest; the one and only Robert Redford.

"Our country has hit a point where we have lost so much," he said. "We have lost lives, we've lost sacred freedoms, we've lost financial stability; we've lost our position of respect on the world stage."

Who appointed Robert Redford to speak for America? Or for that matter, any of Hollywood? What is the deal with these filthy rich movie makers who 1) believe they are somehow mainstream and 2) think that because they produce fiction and live in a make-believe world- they can speak for the rest of us. How did entertainment and politics become so fused that you can't tell where one stops and the other begins?

I feel the US is on the way up. Maybe not society, mind you, evidenced by the degradation of the family and the dominance of reality TV... But specifically, Mr. Redford, what sacred freedoms or financial stability have YOU lost? As for respect from our world neighbors... That is such a cop out. Which ones? China- where human rights are a fallacy and the vast majority of the country runs on coal burning plants? Where's Al Gore's outrage over that? What other country could you, Mr. Redford, have accomplished what you have and enjoyed the freedom to do it? Name one. That's how we got to be the greatest nation on earth- We didn't care what others thought and just did the right thing. Please, do us all a favor and spare us your America sucks speech and go to whatever country serves you better.

A Quick Review of 'Lone Survivor'

2007-10-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

I was given this book as a birthday present from our good friends M&L. It came with their raving reviews so I quickly dove in.

I did not know it was going to be such an emotional ride as it details a real life account of four Navy SEALs in the mountains of Afghanistan. I regret the outcome of a single decision made by the group that led to the deaths of 19 special forces personnel. In my opinion and the opinion of the author, it resulted from the fear that the liberal news media would exploit the situation to serve a political agenda. Oh, by the way- the author is the only man that made it out alive. His story is incredible. It describes the toughest kind of decision a person can ever be asked to make; your lives and the success of your mission which could save thousands versus the lives of a few possibly innocent goat herders. (It turned out they weren't innocent)

There is also a stark contrast identified in the story between the ruthless, murdering Taliban and the indigenous tribes that harbored the wounded SEAL and defended him with their lives. I cannot imagine the human body taking so much punishment and surviving. I envy all that the SEALs and others like them stand for and are willing to do for our sakes and the good of the Nation.

Honestly, I have not settled out how I feel about the whole situation. Read it and I'd love to hear your opinion. BEWARE! The language of such hardened warriors is not always uplifting.

PS I don't have the clarity of writing to begin to address the problems with our sensationalist and negative media. I will only throw in one small golden nugget of history. During WWII, FDR implemented a domestic censorship code that banned the printing of any information that was deemed to be helpful to the enemy. Maybe that is not possible in the information age and it is perhaps, distasteful to democracies. But I believe it would save the lives of our young men and women fighting to defend freedom abroad. Here's an excellent link that describes the idea.

Secrets of Victory
The Office of Censorship and the American Press and Radio in World War II

by Michael S. Sweeney

That's all for now. Take care.

Religious Equality in Schools??

2007-10-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

I got a real kick out of this article from a Chicago-suburb.

It seems there is a movement to rename or cancel Halloween and Christmas celebrations in schools. Can there ever be absolute equality and tolerance at the same time? More often than not, the majority is bending over backwards to be tolerant of the plethora of minority customs and cultures- which is great!- Cinco de Mayo, Ramadan and others. The Christian majority should be tolerant of other beliefs and customs. But is it crazy to expect the same courtesy from the minority? I'm sorry for offending!

The real funny thing is- aside from the name 'Christmas,' there's not much religion left in the holiday! It's about as secular as it gets with Santa Claus and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer! When was the last time a public school did a Nativity as a school program? School boards are terrified to death of the slightest hint of any religious discrimination, that is to say only if it is Christian. If it is favor of islamic, hispanic, buddist or jewish observance it is TOLERANCE! Sorry, I'm ranting. We all need a healthy dose of Michael Scott's Diversity training from The Office.

It's Official, until they change.

2007-09-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

The motto of the US Marines is Semper Fidelis. For those of you who don't speak yiddish, that means 'Always Faithful.' We, in the navy often time substitute this with Semper Gumbi- Always 'Flexible!'

There's also a reason they call them orders and not suggestions. They can change them at any time according to the needs of the service. But I am grateful to finally get my orders to the USS Annapolis (SSN-760) as the navigator, since I'm due to show up in about 6 weeks! We'll see if they change, but I don't expect them to.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't excited. Safe navigation of the ship is the obvious priority, but the navigator also takes responsibilities as the operations officer which expand my duties significantly. As a department head, I also work with the other two dept heads (Weapons Officer and Engineer) and report to the Commanding Officer via the Executive Officer. The work load is heavy and expectations are high in both tactical ability and management of the department which comprises about 1/3 of the 130 man crew.

As we contemplate making Connecticut our home for the next few years (and maybe longer), we are sure enjoying the cool weather brought by the approaching Fall. Yes, we have four seasons here in New England as opposed to the pseudo-seasons we get in Texas. Regardless, we hope the winter treats us kindly. I will likely be punished for degrading Texas with a blizzard of epic proportions. All Hail, Texas- where you can't shovel sunshine.

Remembering 9/11

2007-09-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

Haley was 11 days old on September 11, 2001. We were living in Charleston, SC and I was fully engaged in the Navy's nuclear prototype training pipeline. This is a phase of a submariner's training where they finally get out of the classroom and get some great hands-on training on two retired submarines. (Stripped of most of the normal submarine systems and left with the nuclear reactor and engine room intact) As Nolan is about to find out- it was a pretty intense time. The training goes around the clock in shiftwork.

I was just getting off shift on that Tuesday morning. I usually got home around 730 and headed right to the rack, but Mo was up early with baby Haley. I stayed up to spend some time with Haley and turned on the TV. The first plane had already hit, and right there before our eyes, Mo and I watched the second plane hit. Needless to say, we were glued to the TV the rest of the day.
I am profoundly grateful for the country in which we live. I feel indebted to those who have served and given the ultimate sacrifice-past and present- that we can enjoy the freedoms that we take so often take for granted. It is hard to see so many lives lost in Iraq, Afghanistan and across the world. Yet I believe in the cause of the Iraqi war, both for their national security and ours. Don't tell me its not worth it when a larger percentage of Iraqis come out to vote under the threat of death than Americans.

The fact is there are evil people in the world that are actively seeking the destruction of western civilization, why?- Because we are the wrong religion- I don't think so. That is just the cover story. Democracy, capitalism and globalization rob those evil men of their power and oppression over the masses. Today, I am glad to live in a country and be a part of an organization that recognizes the threats and defends the lives of our citizens, even the ones that fail to see the signs. I'll never forget how I felt that morning. What did you feel, what do you remember?

Our Pilgrimage to Palmyra

2007-09-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

Over Labor day weekend, our family braved a six-hour trip to Palmyra, NY to see the church history sites that are there. (For official Palmyra info, go HERE. Or for a more descriptive blog go to Emily's blog.)

Let me just say that despite several opportunities to let something ruin the weekend...it was wonderful to be there with the most important people in my life. I felt of the spirit that is there. My testimony was strengthened. I realized some things,.. that I don't necessarily feel like elaborating here- lets just say that this 'experience of life' has clarified itself just a little bit. And life is good.

The Perfect Analogy -"Woof"

2007-08-20T19:12:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I read something this OUTSTANDING. I've copied it from a fellow submariner's blog- Ultraquiet No More. All I have to add is AMEN.

Sheep, Wolf or Sheepdog.....

This letter was written by Charles Grennel and his comrades who are veterans of the Global War on Terror. Grennel is an Army Reservist who spent two years in Iraq and was a principal in putting together the first Iraq elections, January of 2005.

It was written to Jill Edwards, a student at the University of Washington who did not want to honor Medal of Honor winner Colonel Greg Boyington with a plaque. Greg Boyington was a graduate of UW, and a USMC pilot during WW-II. Miss Edwards objection was because he had killed people.

Ms. Edwards and other students (and faculty) do not think those who serve in the U.S. armed services are good role models. _________

To: Edwards, Jill (student, UW) Subject: Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs

Miss Edwards, I read of your student activity regarding the proposed memorial to Col. Greg Boyington, USMC and a Medal of Honor winner. I suspect you will receive a bellyful of angry e-mails from other military men like me.

You may be too young to appreciate fully the sacrifices of generations of servicemen and servicewomen on whose shoulders you and your fellow students stand. I forgive you for the untutored ways of youth and your naivete. It may be that you are, simply, a sheep. There's no dishonor in being a sheep as long as you know and accept what you are.

William J. Bennett, in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997 said:

"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident. We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. They are sheep.

Then there are the wolves and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy. Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

Then there are sheepdogs. I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf. If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the uncharted path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

"We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed.

The world can not work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours. Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports, in camouflage fatigues, holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, Baa.

Until the wolf shows up; then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle.

That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed, right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes. The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference. You want to be able to make a difference. There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When they learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd and the other passengers confronted the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers, athletes, business people and parents from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

"There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men."... Edmund Burke.

"Only the dead have seen the end of war."... Plato

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice.

But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision. If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love.

But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between.

Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. It's ok to be a sheep, but do not kick the sheep dog.

Indeed, the sheep dog may just run a little harder, strive to protect a little better and be fully prepared to pay an ultimate price in battle and spirit with the sheep moving from baa to thanks.

We do not call for gifts or freedoms beyond our lot. We just need a small pat on the head, a smile and a thank you to fill the emotional tank which is drained protecting the sheep. And when our number is called by The Almighty, and day retreats into night, a small prayer before the heavens just may be in order to say thanks for letting you continue to be a sheep. And be grateful for the thousands, millions of American sheepdogs who permit you the freedom to express even bad ideas.

Sorry, Texas- CT Summers ROCK!!

2007-08-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I love Texas as much as the next Texan, but let's be real. It can get kinda warm in the summertime. Today just happens to be one of those days that makes me glad to be a Texan in yankeeville. I won't rub it in.

It's been a hard week for me with (one) a increasingly busy school schedule and (two) an empty house in Houston that is not currently on the market due to an air conditioning unit leak that damaged some sheet rock in the ceiling. I do have some wonderful assistance from Dad, Ethan, an excellent realtor, Kevin Williams and Walt Hays. It should be finished and good as new by tomorrow. Let's all pray for a buyer to come our way! Thanks so much to everyone helping me out down there.

A quick Nolan update...
The guy is blowing nuclear power school away. The toughest training pipeline the navy has to offer and the ensign is barely batting an eyelash. I won't minimize the unbelievable amount of time he is putting in to do well, but I'm beginning to see that he didn't join the navy to follow in his big brother's footsteps, but rather to show HIM HOW IT'S DONE!! He just scored a ~3.5 on his heat transfer final. BZ, ENSIGN.

Goodbye, Texas!

2007-06-12T16:43:00.001-07:00

It is with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to the Lone Star State. The fam left the motherland this past Thursday as duty calls us back to the fleet. I will likely always consider it home as I have for the past 29 years of my life. Will we ever reside in Texas again? Perhaps. And I am not so thick headed to believe that Texas is the only place with good people...it just has the best people. (or HAD them:) j/k Connecticut will be our home for the next little while (state song?-YANKEE DOODLE!). Wish us luck in yankeeville.

Here are a few things that I love and will miss about Texas.
1) Bluebonnets
2) Blue Bell Ice Cream
3) The unabashed and prevalent display of the flag
4) Texas Hill country
5) The River Walk, Schlitterbahn & floatin the Guadalupe
6) friendly country people
7) Los Cucos
8) Longhorn cows
9) undying patriotism
10) high school football
11) Texas Sunsets and Thunderstorms
12) smoked briskets that'll make ya slap yo mamma!
13) Sunday dinners, frisbee with the boys, Scharmans, Kecks, Bayles, Kirkhams, Allens, and all the other great neighbors.

i love mexican food

2007-05-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my Dad, I am addicted to talk radio. At times I have to turn it off because the frustration is too much to handle. I'm sure Emily wishes I listened less, because I come home hopped up on current events and in the mood for an intellectual conversation. I do recognize that I often hear one side of the issue; however, I find myself in agreement with a majority that is in that media.

As part of our civic responsibility, I think we need to pay more attention to what's going on in our country, as frustrating as it is, in order to be prepared to fulfill Joseph Smith's prophesy that we will rescue the constitution when it hangs by a thread. It does not take long to write a congressman and I think our children's future is worth the time. There is no doubt our families are under attack.

How many of us can recognize when a proposed law is unconstitutional? Pres Benson stated in a wonderful talk entitled Our Divine Constitution, that we need to know this incredible document better.

Anyway, I have digressed a lot. This blog was going to be about the immigration problem in our country (hence the title) but I think I'll save it for another day. I love our country and have gained a unique appreciation for the founding fathers. I read 1776 and reccomend it. Try counting all the times divine intervention saved the Americans.

The Gun Issue (Excluding my arms)

2007-04-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

I spend my days at the state-funded historically black university- Prairie View A&M University. Go Panthers! And several nights a weeks, for the last 2 years, are spent at the incredibly diverse University of Houston. Go Cougars! (Rumor has it THE James McCoy, shortly-to-be accomplished master architect is a distinguished alumni!) Since I spend the vast majority of my time at either institution of higher learning, I have been unexpectedly very affected by the recent massacre at Virginia Tech. I've experienced a myriad of emotions, probably similar to many others whose hearts ached to hear of such a senseless act.

The question occupying my mind is, "Was it avoidable?" Now, I know that it is fairly unproductive to sit here and point fingers or play the blame game; for we all know who is to blame- a mentally deranged, tormented soul named Cho. The only interest I have in rehashing such a horrible act is to gain some 'lessons learned' to prevent a similar atrocity from happening ever again.

I do not possess a membership card from the NRA, but I do whole-heartily support the 2nd amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America. Up until now, I would have said that a zero tolerance policy for firearms at certain locations, such as schools, is a good thing. But what has that done except create 'safe zones' for evil people to kill innocent people with little fear (at least in the short term) of reprisal. School shootings are on the rise. Why? Do the criminals consider the period of time that they will hold all the power of life and death? Likely.

Despite all the legislation and circuit breakers in place to keep guns out of the hands of evil people, how easy is it to get a gun illegally? -Surprisingly easy, I'm afraid. Therefore, the only people following the gun laws are laws-abiding citizens that have proven capable of opposing these madmen! Law enforcement personnel cannot be everywhere. Can we depend on them solely to keep us safe? Not for me and my family. If I can prevent some murderous crime, with or without a gun, I'm going to do it. So, VT-preventable?- I think not. Did 32 people need to die? No. One only need look to the numerous examples of responsibly armed citizenry preventing or minimizing crime, to include the shooting just a few months ago at Trolley Square Mall. Here's my final question: Who is glad that no one in that dorm or engineering building at Virginia Tech on Monday 4/16 at 9:00AM, or in Columbine High School several years ago, was lawfully carrying a concealed handgun?

As for me, I have not gained a testimony that this is one of those things we just need to submit to, knowing their occurrences are seldom, despite increasing. Does the Lord expect us to defend our families from evil and be prepared against the day both spiritually as well as physically?

Keeping perspective

2007-04-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the Chicago Sun Times reported that some BYU faculty and students want to withdraw an invitation to Vice President Cheney to come speak on the campus because he does not measure up to the universities integrity policy. Read the article here.

Why I let this stuff get to me I don't know, but it is frustrating to me to see supposedly educated people with such a liberal thought convention. It may be their opinion that Cheney is a bad guy, fine- they can think what they want. But at least admit that it is by assumption and inference that they hold that opinion.

It is well known that faculty and students of higher education lean to the left in this country. Maybe this stems from the egoism that causes us to reject plain and simple truths. Specifically, that "it's just not possible that Iraq really was trying to acquire yellow cake uranium!" Why is this so inconceivable? Because it would force us to do something about it. It is so contradictory to me that the left is so adamant on the fact that Bush manipulated the intelligence for political purposes, but that nearly all the free world that thought the same thing, did not!

I guess what I am driving at is this; If we abandon the Iraq now, we are partially responsible for the outcome. If we stop seeking out and killing the terrorists, they will not just leave us alone- they will continue to plot and plan our destruction. Let's just face the fact that there is evil in this world that must be stopped. I heard a quote from some philosopher that goes something like, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

I believe Dick Cheney to be a good man who believes in stopping evil.

A Quick Nolan Update

2007-02-01T20:51:00.000-08:00

Our newest little sailor is doing even better than expected. I believe him to be driven by an unquenchable desire to show up his older brother...His inner monologue may say, "Naval Academy, I scoff at you! HA!" After three weeks of bearcrawling everywhere and burying yourself in sand multiple times a day, Nolan has passed his first major inspection with flying colors. The more physical phase is behind him as the hours he spends in class increases. He reports in a severely raspy voice that he is still sore, but his body is just now catching up, slowly. As I had a problem with laughing, I asked how creative and funny the drill sergeants are. He cracked a smile when one DI asked a candidate, "SON! HOW MANY EYEBROWS ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO HAVE!" Then proceeded to have him pretend to be Ernie while calling, "HEY, BURT, SIR!" All in all, he makes me proud.

So I hope you all are having a fine Navy day, because I'm sure Nolan is.

ps CORRECTION! it's Burt with the unibrow. oh well, even DIs make mistakes. Maybe Nolan should point that out to him.

Way past gagging...

2007-01-16T19:24:00.000-08:00

If you have not yet read my sweet wife's blog entitled, "Can't talk...gagging..." please do so now, then return. It can be found at www.squeezescharmans.blogspot.com

I feel obligated to elaborate somewhat on Emily's considerately weak description. (I hope you haven't eaten recently.)

You know how most old horror films have a shower scene? I can now totally relate. When I first pulled the drain, the first of my senses attacked was smell. I was already numbed with a brain-cell-killing concoction of Simple Green and fresh caulk. Like someone cracked smelling salts under my nose, I was jerked out of my daze by a funky combination of rotting hair caked with pure filth that smelt like a cross between a burning hair perm factory and mexican slaughterhouse. I swear that when I hooked it with a hanger like some demonic slug-fish...it pulled back. After a small struggle, it lay exhausted and pulsating on the freshly scoured tile. We shared a quiet moment of mutual respect. Since there is little question regarding the source of our little friend, I also feel proud to say that my wife, produced the most nightmarish looking, foulest smelling, completely offensive in every way- mass that I affectionately named...the yedi stink pickle. I'm positive that is how she stays so sweet and beautiful. Just imagine a yedi that tripped into a septic tank laying on your shower floor...I think I'm done. Harry is that you??

IS THAT A MELTED SNICKERS BAR ON YOUR SHOE!?

2007-01-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

I was actually asked this by a detailer (drill sergeant) during a personnel inspection at the boat school. The proximity of his lips to my ear combined with volume that could cause a freight train to take a dirt road on a rainy night made me slightly uncomfortable. So what if I hadn't mastered the delicate art of shoe waxing? Was all this really necessary? This guy seems genuinely upset! I kept my composure until he said that my black button down shirt (that had accumulated a small amount of dust and hair from doing pushups with another detailer in our room not 10 minutes prior) looked as if I had 'dusted-off with a cat.' That's when I cracked along with my roommate Phil Macnaughton from Georgia, I think. They made the two of us PT till the pain made it not funny anymore and then some. I miss Phil. We didn't care because it took the focus off our squad which was kinda pathetic.

I only rehash these fond memories because my brother Nolan is experiencing something akin to this right now at OCS in Pensacola, FL. Good Luck, Nolan and try not to laugh.

ps I know this is a Marine Corps recruiting poster, but together we are the NAVAL service, so it works. And they make better posters.

Another try

2006-12-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

I'm going to give this blog thing another shot. The hard thing for me is separating myself from the fact that other people may actually be reading it! So I'll pretend you all are not really out there. I guess that means I'm writing to myself. I think I need a shrink.