I feel obligated to elaborate somewhat on Emily's considerately weak description. (I hope you haven't eaten recently.)
You know how most old horror films have a shower scene? I can now totally relate. When I first pulled the drain, the first of my senses attacked was smell. I was already numbed with a brain-cell-killing concoction of Simple Green and fresh caulk. Like someone cracked smelling salts under my nose, I was jerked out of my daze by a funky combination of rotting hair caked with pure filth that smelt like a cross between a burning hair perm factory and mexican slaughterhouse. I swear that when I hooked it with a hanger like some demonic slug-fish...it pulled back. After a small struggle, it lay exhausted and pulsating on the freshly scoured tile. We shared a quiet moment of mutual respect. Since there is little question regarding the source of our little friend, I also feel proud to say that my wife, produced the most nightmarish looking, foulest smelling, completely offensive in every way- mass that I affectionately named...the yedi stink pickle. I'm positive that is how she stays so sweet and beautiful. Just imagine a yedi that tripped into a septic tank laying on your shower floor...I think I'm done. Harry is that you??
6 comments:
Wow, your wife must have thick, lucsious, flowing hair in order to unintentionally produce something like that. She must be really beautiful.
Gosh, why are you people so hairy? We are slick and clean and hairless at my house...and we always smell like roses too!
i love the description. poetry, that what it is, poetry. welcome to blogville.
mmmm, I can almost taste it..yetti pickles.
You are all a bunch of sickies reveling in grossness! I'll bet you all used to love to sing the "great big gobs" song when you were young, too!
You know it, Mo!
That was a very good description. I can almost taste the putrid smell in my mouth!
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